out of body experience with false awakening

When this experience was actually happening, it was very intense. It started with the usual vibrations, but of a slightly different feel. It has now faded, and some memories with it. When it started, I had an extreme feeling that I was paralyzed. It was not the sort of paralysis associated with SP. It felt like even my non-physical body was paralyzed. 

I remember thinking right after it all subsided that it felt as if my nervous system had been torn out of me from the inside. It seems odd to say that now, but at the time it is what I had thought of. Not that there was any pain with this, but just a lack of any sensation that I could move in any way, at least not above my waist. I tried to kick my legs out and away and eventually was able to separate. 

I drifted out and up, screaming for help. I was either paralyzed, or dead, and someone had to help me. Eventually, I felt the presence of at least three entities. One held on to my shoulders from behind, while the other two worked on my two arms from in front, or just to my side. The main entity while holding me by the shoulders was trying to calm me down, telling me that I was just fine. They all worked on me for a few minutes, and then I found myself waking up, but not really waking up it seemed. I woke up and found that I still felt I could not physically move. 

So I tried to make some sort of noise to get attention so whoever was there could help me. I remember trying to get one arm to knock the headboard of the bed. And then I woke up again, finding myself in the same position as before, still unable to move. I ran through what had been happening, and decided to try to move over onto my back. If I could do that, I could prove to myself I was really awake, and that I was not paralyzed anymore. I tried to move to my back, and found myself waking up a third time. 

What the heck is this? Every time I wake up, I think I am awake, but I end up having to wake up yet again. I ran through any number of tests and determined I must be awake. I tried to move again, and you guessed it. I woke up yet again. This time it turned out I was really awake, but even still, I laid there for quite some time before I tried to move. 

My arms felt extremely fatigued. And what if I tried to move them and could not? I eventually went over to my back, and noticed the clock. It seemed like 45 minutes or so had elapsed since I had seen the clock. I felt totally wiped out, and still was not moving my arms much. I felt very heavy. The rest of the night was uneventful, and now I am not sure what any of this means. The multiple false awakenings are interesting. I have had them before, but I do not think I have had that many layers to come back through. I remember thinking during the experience that I had to post this one because it was so different feeling than anything I have had happen before. And I was worried that if I was really paralyzed I would not be able to type it, and would have to tell someone else to post it. It is funny what you think of at certain times.

Out of Body Experiences

I have been having these experiences my entire life. I always wanted it to just stop as a child. It would not stop. Now, I would like to have these experiences more frequently, and they appear to have all but stopped happening. Sure, I had a good one or two recently, but my overall frequency has been declining for a number of years. 

Now, I have had a couple of instances of getting the vibrations- and have failed to get further along than that. What is happening here? It makes me doubt the reality of the experiences that I have had over the years. I read back through the entries in this blog, and it all seems like a distant memory. Then I have a fairly good experience- as with the “Not here, Not now” a while ago, and it all comes back to me. Then it all seems real and possible again. 

I guess that this is just an ongoing repetition of the way it has always been. I would go through stretches of time that I seemed to have numerous experiences, followed by equal times that I would not have any. The only difference is that long ago, I did not want the experiences- Now I do. 

I see some on other sites discussing vibrations as if they are not really relevant to the OOBE or are only necessary in the beginnings. For me, having strong vibrations was always a prerequisite to having a good strong OOB like experience. The few times recently that I have had vibrations, I have not been able to focus on them as I have been able to do in the past. I notice them, but can’t get out. I try to focus on them to move them and intensify them, and they will not move, or they move to a point and get stuck. They will not alter as I know they have to for me to succeed. It seems like even with my life time of experiences, I seem to have lost some basic part of the ability. 

Of course there is one difference in my past experience and those I have seen suggest the vibrations are not necessary to having an OOBE. I have always been more or less, a spontaneous projector. Most I see out there have decided to work at having the experience after they heard about it elsewhere. Why haven’t I tried to produce an experience on my own? Oh, but I have tried many times with many different techniques. Some of them even worked- once. But, I could never reproduce an OOBE consistently using any method other than just waiting until I would normally have the experience. Sometimes if you try consistently, you may have an OOBE. Of course, you may have had it anyway even if you were not trying. One might think I would be a good “method” projector since I know the sensations, and what to expect, and have no fear (usually anyway). It is interesting to me anyway, that in general; nothing else works for me except having a strong desire and being aware of the right circumstances to project. And that used to be enough.

Trying to avoid the inevitable in pre-cognitive dream

When I was married, long ago, my wife had a dream that she could not deal with, and went way beyond her scientific training. Here is how I described it at the time. 

“She did have one odd dream when I knew her. It was totally of circumstances that made no sense to her at the time. In fact, she had not told me about this dream- odd as it seemed- until she started seeing certain parts of it happening in real life. 

Long story short, it involved a car crash that we were in. But she could not resolve the circumstances of the crash. We were with people she did not know at the time, on a road we seldom took while driving- and neither of us was driving. 

We were getting a ride from people I knew, but she had not met yet. Anyway, somewhere in the visit that night, she realized her dream was starting to happen. She totally freaked out and made us drive instead of getting a ride from my friends- so we would not be in the circumstance she had dreamed of. 

Even so, we did find ourselves on that same road on the trip going home. And although we made it home in one piece, it was not without a close call. Someone came close to hitting us, pulling out into traffic after not coming to a full stop from a side road. Maybe my friend would not have seen this car if he had been driving. Maybe my wife having told me about it just made me extra alert to people doing odd things. . .”

Related to knowing the time while in Vibration

From Alt.out-of-body Oct 1998

Not only does perception of time vary between OOB and physical passage. . . I also find that when I am returning from, or still in the vibration phase of OOBE I sometimes am made aware of what time it is in the physical. One time in particular. . . I can remember it as if it was yesterday. . . (actual it was when I still lived with my parents. . ) I had been experiencing the vibrations. . . During this I heard my parents who had been gone. The vibrations continued as I heard the sound of them entering the house. I wondered what time it was, and saw a clock with the time displayed. .. It was around 2:30am. . . Anyway, when the vibrations stopped I looked at my clock again and realized I could not see it. Actually it would not have made a difference if I could see it because it was not running and the face of it was turned away from me. So next day, I asked them when they had returned and they told me it had been at 2:30am.

Flying with Eagles

I had a dream last night that I was flying with eagles out over a forest along the coast somewhere. I could feel the wind. I could see the ocean in the distance. There were two large birds with me. (It would be funny if we were actually vultures . . . but that is not how I viewed it at the time) I was totally aware of being there. . . It did not occur to me at the time that it was a dream. It did not seem odd that I was there. No feeling of trying to escape, just a joy of feeling free to fly. I did not think of it as an OOBE. No OOB sensations preceded it. I just was soaring with a few friends until it just faded away.

This is a post from the past, originally appearing on the alt out-of-body newsgroup. I will be dredging up some of my old posts from there from time to time.

A voice wants me to wake up

The other day I was sleeping- or I think I was anyway. Out of the blue, I heard a loud voice say, “Hey! It is 4:45!” Of course, I did what anyone would have done. I woke up. I thought “who the heck was that?” And of course, thinking it was odd to have the time announced as if I actually had someplace to be or something important to do at 4:45, I turned over and looked at my clock. Guess what it said- 4:46. The voice was off by one minute, or maybe it took me a minute to wake up enough to turn over.

Why bother to wake me up internal voice- or other thing out there. And why bother to be that accurate just to wake me up before I have to be awake? If it has that accuracy, one might think an internal clock could be accurate enough to only wake you when it was time.

I know. This is not a typical out of body type thing, but it is interesting anyway.

Sometimes, it just does not happen

With all of my experiences, one would think I was beyond messing up an experience. I guess sometimes a lifetime of experiences is no guarantee of success at any one time. Last night was one of those times. I became aware that I was about to have an experience, and tried to get right to the vibrations to see where it would lead.  

The trouble was that I was on my back. This is not a good place for me to be, but I knew if I tried to move, it may be an end to the experience. I tried to make it happen from my back. All I was aware of was that every time the intensity increased, I had more trouble continuing to breathe. After a few tries, I decided to break out of it, and turn to my side. As you may be able to guess, breaking out of it at that point killed the experience. When I was younger and did this, I could usually count on it returning fairly quickly after something like this happened. I guess those days are gone, along with a few other things of my youth. ;^)

Not here, and not now

Last night I had the first real good OOBE-like experience I have had in a fair amount of time. It started after a fairly restless period. First, I felt an odd sensation unlike vibrations, but it still put me on guard for the start of an OOBE. 

Then, I felt like my non-physical self was oscillating slowly in and out of my physical. That stopped, and I thought maybe that brief burst would be all that would happen. Then, everything hit. 

 

I found myself rolling in slow motion out of my body and slowly falling to the floor. People ask at times what one does in an OOBE. I usually have a pre-set goal. For me, this one was completely unexpected so I had no goal in mind when it started. When I find that I have no goal, I usually just ask for whatever type of experience would be beneficial for me at this time. When I had that thought, I immediately took off towards San Francisco. 

 

Not that I thought I wanted to go there for any reason. It was just the feeling I had that that was my destination. First I flew out on my own, and then I became aware of what felt like hands grabbing onto mine. The sensation grew more intense as we went on, almost feeling like I was getting an energy flow from the being or beings helping me. I say “beings” because at the point I was nearing my stop; my “arms” were held perpendicular to my body as whoever had me still held on. 

 

I landed and immediately saw a person approaching me who was pretty agitated. It seemed he had a gun and was pointing it at my head. Already, this is more intense than the usual run-of-the-mill OOBE for me. I felt threatened and began to realize I was not the person who was here in this experience. It was like I was another person, and was being judged on how I reacted to this person. Somehow I faced them down long enough for others to get there to take control of the person with the gun. Now the experience gets more interesting. 

 

It now began to dawn on the ‘me’ I was not ‘me’ as I am now, and this person I seemed to be had no memory of me or my current life. I remember seeing San Francisco and walking around for miles at a time to the point my feet got sore. And I could feel them as if I was doing that at the time. It was an immersed-in-the-experience sort of thing. I got a sensation of knowing that I was a person known as “Father Bo.” I had something to do with counseling persons at risk, or people who were either causing others problems, or the people involved with those persons- like family members of convicts, or others who had problems dealing with society. 

 

At one point I remember asking someone what year it was. They said it was 1919, and I remember saying ‘that does not seem possible.’ And the voice was different than my own. It was like I heard this person talking to others, and knew we were connected in some way, at least in certain instances. I would hear him talk and know that this was not my voice- but I did not feel apart from being him either. It was very strange. 

 

Towards the end of this I had grown a bit older, and as an older man, was having more trouble with my feet. It was like I was finally realizing that I physically could not do my work anymore. One of the people, who helped me at this point, was helping me soak my aching feet and massaging my lower legs. I looked down at my legs, and knew they were mine- I know this is odd. Of course, they were mine. But this was not like anything I have ever felt in a dream or an OOBE. It was a clear detail and feeling that I had a connection to this person. And it was not only my feet that were a problem at this point. I was stiff and sore on most of my right side. When I lifted my feet out of the basin they had been soaking in, my legs had a tremor in them. My helper told me that he did not like the looks of that tremor. I told him that I did not either, and for some reason, I laughed. Then suddenly, I was back and out of the experience.

 

 

 

 

Some shared experiences?

Some of you may have wondered about the possibility of sharing OOBE type experiences or maybe sharing dreams. Quite a few years ago, I had an opportunity to try this with a person I did not otherwise know. This was with a person who had experience with AP, but was less in control than I was. She was interested in a shared out-of-body experience, and I decided to give it a try. All I really knew of her was that she was somewhere in the Montreal area.

In my first attempt, I got nowhere. But, I did see a brick wall. Not just any bricks. These were larger than our standard size red bricks I am used to. And the color was not consistent with what I might see here. I told her about this, and she responded that she lived in a brick building. Of course, anyone can be in a brick building, so that is not a significant thing by itself. After that, I saw a news feature about some drug deal in the Montreal area, and they showed a couple of brick apartment buildings. The brick looked like what I had seen. It still could just be coincidental, or that type of brick could be very common to Montreal.

The next time I tried, I felt as if I got someplace, but once there, I did not see anyone. As I was leaving again, someone placed a copy of a newspaper in my hands. I looked at it and saw it was in French. Telling her about this, she responded that her last job had been with a newspaper. Since I cannot understand French, and I am not sure I really saw a written about in the paper, I cannot know if that was a real hit. Just another coincidence.

The next try, I got someplace and saw a very sharply detailed rendition of a fish. She told me after that that her astrological sign was Pisces. She had not mentioned this before. Since I did not know the meaning of the fish, I would not have known this unless she had told me why it was significant to her.

In the next one, I found myself walking along a brilliantly colored street, almost more real than any real street could be. It was so intense, that I thought that wherever it was, I must really be there. The sun in my eyes, the sense of feeling the pavement I walked on. I was looking for CG. I turned up a sidewalk to the right, into a low knoll. People were in some sort of exercise program. I asked the apparent leader if they could point out where CG was. He pointed up towards a building a bit further away. I got to the door and asked again. The person there grabbed my shoulder and guided me through the door. As he touched me, I felt a surge in energy. I crossed into the room. There was a baby carriage on the far side of the room. I looked into it. The baby changed as I watched. It grew, and then changed faces, and grew again, changing faces every now and again. As I watched, I understood that each of these new faces had been CG at a certain point in her existence over time. It ended with the current version. At this point, I hugged her, and the experience ended. As I recall, I did not discuss the details of this one in much with her. Maybe it would have been too much to tell her. It went out of bounds of something we had agreed to.

Now, the best two.

The experience started with me landing in a forested area. There is a house to my right. I walk up along the front of the house, and there is that same guy from the earlier experience. I should have mentioned that CG felt that she had two people protecting her spiritually, and one was a man. Anyway, I walked up to this guy and asked if I could see CG. Again, he grabbed my arm, and I feel a surge in energy. I went in the direction he pointed, and I saw CG up ahead of me. She called to me by a name that is not my current name, saying ‘great, (un-remembered name) you made it.’ As I approached her, she had been sitting on the steps to the front door of the house. She had a Garfield book in her left hand. She told me later that she does not like Garfield. But, I am thinking that somewhere along the line, her daughter will want one. After we said hello, she suggested that we should take a walk out into the woods away from the house. There was a path. We walked and talked about our lives. I think she asked me about people in my life, and I answered her relating the hair color of a significant person in my life. We walked a bit more, and then I felt as if I had to get back. I told her I had to go and asked her if she would remember that I had been there. She answered ‘probably not.’ I kissed her goodbye.

And, it was over. I noted the time it ended and asked in the next email if she had anything to tell me. She said that at a particular time, close to what I had said, she had awakened from a dream that she knew would be significant to me. She wrote of being in a tower with someone. She said I had been there, and that I had complained about the length of the hair of the lady I was with, saying it was messy. I do not remember complaining about hair, since I have always liked long hair on women. It was interesting that both of our experiences, even though they were not similar in setting, mentioned the hair of the person I was with at the time. I had not discussed this with CG beforehand. She sent me her version of the dream she had before I sent her mine. I did not mention the kiss. Nor did she.

CG had told me that she had a couple of ongoing physical problems related to the birth of her daughter. One day, she told me that she would be in the hospital for a week or so to get that damage repaired. I guess she had been trying to find someone to do it, and she would be covered for the medical coverage they have there. The operation was a success, and she promised she would be out rollerblading by summer. A few days later, she suffered a setback of some kind.

I did not know at the time that she had been having any problems other than normal post-surgery soreness, and probably in places she never would have mentioned to me anyway, unless we had known each other a lot better. Then, one night, I woke up out of a sound sleep. I heard the very familiar sounds that precede my OOBEs starting up. As this happened, my first thought was that CG was in some sort of trouble. At first, I was not sure what was happening, but as I traveled, I knew something had happened related to her surgery. As I traveled, I tried to send her healing energy. I am not even sure I believed that healing energy stuff then, but at the time, it seemed like the thing to do. I actually saw light streaming out from me, and I knew I was directing it towards her as I traveled. I also felt as if I was not alone, almost as if I had been summoned by someone on her behalf. Then, I had the oddest sensation- if anything can really feel odd after the sensation of traveling 3,000 or more miles in a matter of minutes.

I saw the top of a curtain much like you would see in a hospital- the kind that they will pull around your bed to give you privacy. At the same time, I was seeing that, I was seeing a bed in a room someplace else. I plunked down on the foot of a bed, or beds. From one, I saw a bedroom- with a large stuffed animal off to one side. As I turned to look up to the head of the bed(s), I saw the one in the bedroom with the stuffed animal was empty. I also saw the one in the hospital setting, which was not empty. I had the very briefest of glances at a person in the bed, but I was overcome with the sense of invading that person’s privacy at that particular time. It was as if, all that really was needed had been my energy. I was not to be there just to view what was happening so I could have proof later that I had been there. As soon as I looked at this person, I was gone and back home. I made note of the time.

Now, the feedback. It seemed, according to what CG later told me, that she had been in pain that night for quite some time. At some point, the friend who was looking after her during her recovery decided that she needed to be in the hospital. At the time I reported for my visit, she had just been admitted. I mentioned having seen the stuffed animal in a room someplace, and she told me her daughter had put her favorite stuffed toy in the room with her at home because she thought it would make her feel better. CG was not aware of my intrusion but was interested that I had known she was in trouble, and that I had seen the animal and the hospital. I had been confused a bit due to the overlap of rooms, but I can see if I was keying into her trauma, I may have been drawn both to where she currently was, and to where she had just been. The pain was only a brief setback, and she returned home later in the day. I am sure she was rollerblading by summer, but I never found out. Shortly after this, she stopped responding to my emails.

Do we go on After Death?

CH was already with TH when I met her, and they had plans to get married. I had not really known her long when she invited me to their wedding. The night before the wedding, I had a dream in which I had arrived at the wedding a bit early, and had gone into a café near the church to kill some time. Suddenly, CH came in, and sat across from me. We had coffee, and talked about the wedding. Then she said she had to go, and started crying. I asked what was wrong, and she said was crying because she did not have much time left.

The next day when I actually drove to the wedding, there were a couple of restaurants in sight of the church. I am not sure I found the one that might have matched the dream, but I thought about that dream as I sipped a cup of coffee waiting for it to be time to go across to the wedding. CH did not come by this time.

In the receiving line after the ceremony, she introduced me to her friends as her soul mate, or the one she would have had one last fling with before getting married, or the one she would have married if she had not met TH. This is getting way too sad to write about now. Even after almost twenty years.

TH and CH were building a life together. Part of it included me, for a while. I helped them put in their orchard, and they invited me to dinners on many special occasions, and sometimes just because I was a friend. CH was teaching horse riding, and trying to finish school so she could become a veterinarian, plus her part time job downtown. JG and I ran into her downtown one afternoon. CH told us she planned to get together with us soon, just in case something happened and we never saw each other again. As it turned out, we never did see her again.

CH was killed by a drunk driver a short time later. Thinking about the dream, and her feeling that something might happen before we saw each other again, well, what can I say? Sometimes life is very sad. And sometimes it almost seems that we know in advance that certain things might happen.

After CH died, I had dreams at times that involved her. Mostly, I would dream I was visiting at her house. Her husband was there in the dreams, but not CH. It was not like I knew she was dead in those dreams. She just was not at home.

Then, one time she interrupted a dream I had been having of my days back in college. I was about to leave the main building for my major, and there she was walking towards me, coming up the stairs, opening the main doors as I was headed out. I sort of did a double take, in the dream. Suddenly I was very aware of things, where I was, who she was. None of it jived in my head, since I knew two things. If I was really in college, she should not be there because I did not know her back then. And the big kicker; I knew that she had died. Sometimes things in dreams do not jive, and you just go on knowing that it is only a dream, and then it all changes. This time, it occurred to me that this must be a dream, but when I realized that, the only thing that changed was the outward setting. The building, the outside- it all faded into nothingness. But, CH was still there and still walking towards me. There I was, stammering, ‘why are you here, how are you here, are you really here?’ She came up face to face with me, grabbed my arms just below my shoulders, and said firmly, ‘I want you to know that am OK. There is something I have wanted to do for you.’ And then, without saying anything else that I remember anyway, she pulled me towards her. We were already about as close as we could be, but she pulled me closer, and then we merged together. What followed was warmth, tingling, swirling flashes of light, a feeling of floating, of being- me, her, us together as one. Then it was over.

Whether there is anything to the belief some have in an afterlife, who knows? If there is no afterlife, then this was just a very beautiful dream. If there is an afterlife, maybe she really came to me to tell me things were OK with her. One thing though, I had been having trouble dealing with her loss before that time, and it was easier after that experience. I have had no further dreams. Assuming there is no afterlife, maybe the way this works is that at some point, your subconscious mind literally merges the known memories and feelings for the deceased person into your own mind. Maybe this dream was a representation of that merger. I can accept that from a scientific viewpoint. But part of me still wants to believe that it was really CH who visited me that night, and that she is really OK.

Now you know for sure. Past life awareness, Out-of-body experiences, clairvoyant dreams, spirits, and raising tables and life after death. Now you know I am nuts. But, this is just another aspect of what has shaped me and my life. If it means I am nuts, at this point I really do not have anything to say in my defense. It is part of me.