An Opportunity to say Goodbye to my deceased Wife

Monday, July 22, 2019

 

My wife J died on March 30, 2019. A few weeks later, I began to feel her presence around the house at seemingly random times.

 

Last night, I had some sort of experience with J that allowed me to tell her goodbye, something we had not been able to do. I had gotten up briefly to use the bathroom. I got back into bed, and in the time it took to get back in bed and turn towards her side of the bed, I sensed that she was there. I looked more closely, and I could see her. She seemed real. I reached out to her and then hesitated, thinking that if I tried to touch her, my hand might pass through. Or, if I were able to touch her, I would wake her up. (I was still afraid of needlessly waking her up, although her being with me seemed a good reason to wake her at the time.) I slowly lowered my hand to her, and she felt real. And of course, she woke up.

 

“Hi- Sorry to wake you. How are you doing?”

 

“I feel pretty good now, how have you been?”

 

“Well, I still have my moments, but having awareness you are still with me has helped.”

 

“I am happy about that.”

 

“And about that, I don't usually see you when I am aware of your presence. Is there something special about this time?”

 

“I just wanted to see you, is that OK?”

 

“Sure, it is. I just worry that there might be better things for you to be doing with your time than being here with me.”

 

“I guess I should get busy. I know I should, but I wanted to see you one last time.”

 

“So then, should this goodbye for now?”

 

“Yes, goodbye- for now.”

 

As I kissed her, she vanished.

 

When I looked at the clock about 15 minutes had passed since I returned to bed, fallen asleep, had the dream, and woke up again, if that is what happened.

 

Or, she may have been there to say the goodbye we had not had a chance for while she was still here.

Whatever this was, I experienced it as if she was there to say goodbye. It was real for me. 

A trip to someplace or somewhen From April 2017

 

 

Thursday, April 27, 2017

 

OOBE last night around 3:30 am.  I had asked earlier to have some sort of experience that would be helpful, maybe shedding light on A's importance to me. As I felt it start, I asked, is this about A? Got swift confirmation. Traveled a while and suddenly felt as if someone threw water on my feet. I “woke up” in a bed, and body, not my own, cursed two guys for tossing water on me, threw them out of the room, and looked at my bed, there. I said, hey, that’s not my bed.

 

Wherever this was, I guided my accomplice (by teleporting) to a place I could not see yet but felt that A was there. I curled up into a climb to drop my speed (like I do this all the time). I saw two women sitting talking and knew A was one of them, but she looked nothing like A I know from my life here. I relied on my “I there” to guide me to the A there.

 

Her hair was long curly and dark, a deep brunet color, and her dress looked like it was out of the 40s, below the knee and maroon with big shoulder pads, making her appear more angular than she felt when I finally hugged her. She had heels on, but even so, she seemed to be much taller than the A I know here would be in high heels. I started towards her, and she looked up at me, and gave me a dirty look at first, saying (I heard it telepathically) “Really? This is how you give me time to think? Can't you see I am busy?” 

 

“I” turned to leave and saw a little dog running up to me. We appeared to be in a park of some kind, so this seemed reasonable. I kneeled and rubbed the dog’s stomach, I heard A continue (still telepathically) “Hey, come on back. I am sorry. I just wasn't expecting you right now.” I went over to her, and she greeted me with a hug, saying verbally now, “You don’t know how it has been for me recently. Until I met you, I didn’t know I could ever love someone again- especially the way I love you. I just needed some time to think it out” I did recognize the voice, but again it was not the voice of A I currently know. Of course, I told her I loved her too, and that meeting her had saved my life. (That part may have leaked in from this life, I think.) Then as soon as I knew that she and the I there had ironed out some sort of weirdness between them, my part of the experience was over.

 

About the setting, it could have been a past earth life in the ’40s. But the telepathy and teleporting make me wonder if it was only another dimension built to be similar to earth in the ’40s, but not our physical earth.

 

When it ended I asked my guides if A would ever be able to share in having anything like this happen to her, even as a dream. I knew right then; it wasn’t likely, and these experiences were planned to happen at the time they did to ensure she was already awake for the day just to keep her shielded from them.

 

Also, this person looked nothing like the A I know currently. But I sensed she was A even before seeing her. It stands to reason earlier versions of us would not look like we do now.

 

Also, I wondered if the double projection (again a first for me) was because I needed to be in the “body” the A there would recognize as me, there. . . And just maybe I needed to be in that body so she would be able to see me at all?

A visit to the past, or a visitor from the future From March, 2017

 

This one involves A again. There were two other experiences between this one and the first. The gist of those was that each took an incremental step back in time, and they involved details that A and I had spoken about years ago. It was like those details were the anchor to my knowing that they involved steps back in time.

 

Thursday, March 16, 2017

 

Last night I woke up around 1 am and could not get back to sleep. I decided I had been trying too hard to have some sort of experience related to A, and that if it were to happen, it would happen.

 

I saw the clock last around 3:50 am and turned to my right side. Immediately, I felt a surge of vibrations in the back of my head. I wondered if I should try to go, or stay or if anyone were there to direct me as to what I should do. I felt as if I was constrained a bit, and I was fine with that. Long ago, I realized that whatever happens in these, my desires are only allowed if the powers that be allow them. During the entire time, I was aware of J breathing and lightly snoring next to me.

 

So, for a few minutes, I just stayed there. My legs were parted a bit and there was some sort of padded brace to keep them that way. Nothing else was felt, except energy flowing through me. I was thinking about A the entire time, having used her entire name in my prior thoughts. When what felt like a “treatment” was over, I still thought of A. But the sensations ended.

 

Still listening to J breathing, I thought to myself, “OK if that is it, that is it.”  It wasn't IT this time anyway.

 

The vibrations started up again, and I thought of A. I was off and flying.

 

I landed in a huge empty dome-shaped warehouse-type building. No one was around, so I did a short move to just outside the place. I saw a group of people coming out of a nearby building. I tried to see if any in the group could see me. One did, and she called to her friends, “Hey hold on. There is someone from the future here.”  I asked her if she knew A and described her. She said, “Oh, you must mean the woman from the City?” I said, well, maybe. Bring me to her, and we will see.

 

We went into that same building I had landed in originally, and I was brought to an access panel that I had not seen before. My escort opened the door, and I heard someone inside. My escort leaned towards the opening and called out “You have a visitor from the future.” I heard a woman’s voice, say, “Oh if I weren’t so filthy, I would kiss whoever it is. I need to get out of here.” She looked up at me as she got out, and it was A. I say that, but it was not quite the exact version of A that I know here. Oh, and I am not sure that she used that name in this place.

 

She looked at me, smiling, and greeted me with a hug, and asked what had taken me so long? She said she had looked and looked for some sort of communication from me but there had been nothing. I told her it was not easy to get messages through, but I had been trying. And that they frowned on any communication that left something that could be traced.

 

We walked out together, walking as lovers might, arm in arm- not as easy as it sounds since she was quite a bit shorter than me. And I say as lovers might because I had the impression that there, we had been a couple. There was no sense of another that she was with either there or here, and no memory of my having anyone else back there at that point. And I was not aware of my life here by that point. It was as if she had known and accepted that I had to leave her at some point, and that I would always try to return.

 

We got to a spot where we could talk. She asked how things were here. I told her that her life was going as she had planned and that we had been able to meet, as we had planned. I looked at her, and kissed her, full on the lips. I have only rarely done that in one of these experiences with anyone. But it seemed OK because it felt like we were not who we were in this current life. But the kiss also terminated the experience.

 

Fade to gray- Vibrations fade quickly, and I return to my current life awareness It is 4:20 am.

 

Correlation? Hmm. At least a possible reason for this one- Assuming the experiences leading up to this one had made incremental steps back in time, it follows that this one went one step further to a point before A incarnated here. From the view of those there, I would therefore appear to them as a visitor from the future, at least A's future.

 

Why is this even a thing? One view could be that to ensure A and I met in this life; I would have to go back home to first tell her we had met here now. Our kiss served two requirements, or three if you count that we simply wanted to do it. It also transferred a small amount of energy between us. This would make it easier for her to find me in our current life. And it would also give me a bit of her energy from further in her past, to help me find her in an even earlier lifetime, discussed in the next experience.