The trouble was that I was on my back. This is not a good place for me to be, but I knew if I tried to move, it may be an end to the experience. I tried to make it happen from my back. All I was aware of was that every time the intensity increased, I had more trouble continuing to breathe. After a few tries, I decided to break out of it, and turn to my side. As you may be able to guess, breaking out of it at that point killed the experience. When I was younger and did this, I could usually count on it returning fairly quickly after something like this happened. I guess those days are gone, along with a few other things of my youth. ;^)
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Sometimes, it just does not happen
With all of my experiences, one would think I was beyond messing up an experience. I guess sometimes a lifetime of experiences is no guarantee of success at any one time. Last night was one of those times. I became aware that I was about to have an experience, and tried to get right to the vibrations to see where it would lead.
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I have trouble laying on my back for extended times too so I can at least relate with that part.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I have even asked but how long have you been practicing AP? You sound very experienced.
Basically, it has been all my life. SP started happening when I was a kid- maybe 5-6. I fought it for a few years, and then decided to figure out how to live with it- since it would not stop happening. It turned into a more controlled experience in High School.
ReplyDeleteDo you think you really were having trouble breathing physically or maybe it just felt that way?
ReplyDeleteI am not sure actually- But, the impact was as if it was real.
ReplyDeleteI say that cuz I have experienced that feeling of asphyxiation, but when I just told myself that I was out of body and so I didn't need air, then the feeling went away. I wonder if the asphyxiation is caused when you are part out and your mind panics cuz it can no longer feel the body's respiration cycle.
ReplyDeleteIn this case, I tried to tell myself I was fine breathing as it was. I tried to back out of the experience just a bit, and breathing improved. I then said, OK, since this is OK, go back into the experience. Again, the breathing was not OK, and I had to pull back to try again. It is just funny in a way that with all my experience, this basic of a problem still crops up from time to time.
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