Here I am chanting again. . . Aum namah Shivaya and Aum

Aum namah Shivaya- and Aum is a very powerful combination chant for me while in a slightly different stage of conscious awareness.  I have not had any memorable experience of any kind since last February.

This experience started after I had already been asleep for a while and had awakened to find that I could not fall asleep again.  I was aware of laying there and suddenly I was hit by some force or other that knocked me sideways. I felt as if I was tumbling, but I was also aware of my body in bed still in the covers with my arms at my sides.  I was aware of the signal (?) I have heard before that my awareness had shifted, but it seems at this stage that I have to grab onto this signal, so to speak, to have any experience at all. In the past, this having to grab the signal has been hard. This time, my instinct was to chant Aum namah Shivaya- Aum namah on each inhalation, and Shivaya on each exhale.  Doing this seemed to grab that awareness of elsewhere and bring it more into focus.

This time, all of my sensations were much lower in frequency than past experiences where I had usually tried for higher and smoother vibrations.  These are low to the point of being aware of individual vibrating molecules.  None of this is easily described.  The chant of Aum namah Shivaya focused the power.  Putting this chant into more of a melodic chant helped increase the focus.  Dropping it occasionally to simply Aum seemed to draw the focus of energy more into my brain. I just remembered that early on in this, I could almost feel my lips moving in the chanting and was aware of my vocal chords moving.  At the same time I knew this was not really happening physically.  

The chant of Aum brought the energy higher into my head and I could see what looked like two arms in my field of vision.  On each arm was a hand but the hands were in some sort of special position that I knew at the time had some special meaning and purpose that I could not quite get hold of then.  Still chanting Aum, the energy seemed to reach a peak, and then one of the hands reached out and softly touched the middle of my forehead just a bit above the bridge of my nose.   At this point, the arms parted and I could see a clear and starry night. I could feel the energy winding down slowly. The starry night became a clear sunny day with a typical house in my view.  I could hear the voices of what may have been the residents of the home.  And then that faded as the energy continued to drop back into my every day awareness.  It took a number of minutes even at this point to get my eyes open and to feel like I could move.  And then, I just laid there awake again for the next hour wondering about it all.

Chanting Aum namah Shivaya- and Aum

This one started with my more typical aum namah Shivaya chant, but as it started I dropped it to just the more simple Aum, and noticed right away that it seemed to add a bit of power to the proceedings.  I had started earlier in the night as I was going to sleep by chanting aum namah Shivaya as I breathed. This was inhale on aum namah  and exhale on Shivaya.  This tends to get me focused and relaxed.  As I realized the vibration energy was starting- or as I got aware of it in any case, I briefly repeated the aum namah Shivaya.  I started to float a bit, and switched to Aum.  The increase in energy compared to the longer chant was quite fast and overwhelming to say the least.

Oddly, I lost control a bit as I was not sure where I was or why. It is not like I thought of anything, or wanted to go any one place.  I found myself landing very solidly on my back on a very hard floor in a closet or store room.  I felt that I was physically in the place.  I was afraid someone had seen me, but as it happened the door was closed.  As I stood up, I heard my shoes squeaking on this floor.  I sneaked out through the door, and found myself in an office setting. If anyone saw me, they did not react, so maybe whoever I was there was expected to be there.

The last time before this, I had stuck to the ”aum namah Shivaya”  chanting. I remained quite focused on it.   I heard voices speaking but could not quite focus enough to decipher what they were saying.  I saw what appeared to be a lattice work of compartments with individual people.  The impression was that the compartments were on the interior of a cylinder that I was floating in.  As I floated and rotated, I saw the people in this latticework.  Maybe it was some sort of gateway to other planes?  No one was there to tell me except maybe the voices.  And I could not follow what they were saying.

A Dream of a past OOBE

This was not any sort of lucid dream. I remember very little of what happened in a dream until I was near a group of people who were talking to each other. I did not know anyone there but started to listen because they seemed to be talking about other-realms in the non-physical planes.   I sort of budded in and told them I had had an experience close to what they were talking about.  This one was one way early in this blog, called   Confrontation   .

This is pretty weird to me that I could be dreaming, and tell someone in a dream the details I remember from this early OOBE from around 44 years ago.  Maybe the time is getting nearer when I will remember what I had been told “out there”?

Just Heat

Now, a bit ago I had a post that was only a feeling of electricity. .  . Now I have had an OOBE-like event where I just was aware of heat.  It was almost too much heat to be comfortable.  I made an attempt to cool it off a bit, but this cooling seemed to stop the entire thing.  I remember feeling as if my legs and arms were floating free, and that I was otherwise anchored to my more physical body. I could sense the heat in waves coming over me and through me.

More in chanting mode

Last night I was awake and listening to sounds in the room that basically were interrupting my sleep at that point. I stated to see certain images as I listened to the sounds, and the more I tried to see, the more I slid into a weird awake but not quite all awake state.  It was not the same as pre-OOB, but close.  The sounds I heard kept pulling me back to awake, but I slid deeper each time I concentrated on the visuals.

Then the chanting started, and I was immersed in warmth of sound accompanying the chant. The chanting became a melody to accompany the warmth.  I was still consciously aware of my part in keeping up the chants, still the same as noted before.  Om Namah Shivaya, repeated in an ever-changing melody.  This continued for a fairly long time.  There were visuals accompanying all of this, but I do not remember what at this point.  After a long time, the canting ended.

As the chanting ended, I thought I woke up. The surroundings were not as they should be, and I awoke again, thinking I was really awake this time. Again, the events and people seemed OK for a moment, but I realized they were totally wrong eventually.  When I woke up for real, I remembered the events and wondered how I could have been confused about the reality of the first two false awakenings.  It was around an hour and a half since I had seen the time on my clock.

Just electricity

Sept 9, 2011.  1 AM

With chanting and new start sensation- There were two sessions. The first was with massive bird descending towards me. I heard very loud sounds with the chants. Then I saw a group of large birds. The birds faded as someone warned me I should stop this. The second session started and I heard three names. The only one remembered is William Marsden. Then more chanting and heard separate from my chant, a “hari Krishna” chant start up. Well, the only significance to that is that Shiva is the main devote to Krishna, maybe it would follow that chanting to Shiva would lead to hearing the chant to Krishna?  Not that I ever followed any of this really until this started happening to me. As the experience started to fade, a person near me said they wondered how I could do all of this while recovering. ? 

October 26, 2011

This is starting to move beyond what I can attempt to understand as far as what sort of significance these experiences hold. There is now no sense of vibration or sound. I am immersed in electricity. It is in me, I am it. It is me. I cannot even remember a chant initially. Just “om”. It is enough to bring such a surge of energy to and through me. The rest of the chant is added in as I remember it. The surge grows with each new repetition. There is no thought of “out of body” anything.  Why would it matter with “where” I am now- Out of what? It has no meaning.

I am losing interest in this other stuff. Why would I go out of my body? What would it prove at this point? The odd thing is that I have also lost interest in hearing about the out of body experiences of others. What a progression of experiences in my lifetime. . . What does any of it mean? 

More chanting, finally . . . or was it singing?

Just when I was starting to think that nothing would ever happen again, I found myself vibrating again. So naturally, I started to chant again. Why mess with a good thing? But it was more of a song this time. I did use the same chant as far as wording, but instead of flat out chanting, I varied it to a tune that I must have improvised. I certainly did not recognize it anyway. The result was a fascinating looping flight that varied as the melody changed. It may have been totally worthless in the long run, but it felt nice. Towards the end I finally started to have visuals with this, but they totally disrupted the feel of the experience, and it ended shortly after they started.

More and more experiences related to internal chanting

The last two days I have had more happening related to chanting. The experiences of the last two nights have been shorter duration than before, and similar in the lack of anything much happening other than chanting.

Yesterday it was more related to noticing the changes in the sounds-energy relating to the different words of the chant. The Om was the starting baseline energy. Namah seemed to rise in pitch and intensity. Shivaya is a bit lower in energy again. The effect is of creating a wave that grows to a crescendo and recedes again before starting new.

Last night after chanting had begun almost automatically I found myself suddenly materializing in a body and traveling to a sick family member. I do not remember thinking that I wanted to do this, or having any sensation of traveling as I had experienced in other more common types of OOBE. I was just suddenly there. I am not sure if I was any real sort of place at all. Maybe I was just in some other version of reality. What did I do there? I tried to heal of course.

Whatever the chanting is all about, one thing is for sure here. The frequency of my little experiences is way up after just stagnating over recent years. The overall content is questionable, but I feel better for having been doing this recently. And that may be the important thing here.

Chanting three and four

It is almost like I have no choice about it anymore. Chanting.

This next time was a week or so ago, and was fairly short in duration. I remember that in my field of vision as chanting began, I saw a dark disk in the center of my vision. I raised my right arm and started circling it around that disk. As I did this, a very colorful kaleidoscope appeared, and stayed for the duration.

Now, just last night it happened again. This time I was on my back, a position I almost never stay while asleep due to it causing me to snore. And even if I have an OOBE while on my back, I usually try to stop it and move to my side. But for this time of inner chanting, I stayed on my back maintaining complete awareness and control of my breathing during the chant. I never once had any problems breathing.

One weird thing was that I opened and closed my mouth quickly as if maybe I was trying to actually mouth the words of the chant. What this caused was an amplification of the inner energy surge brought on by chanting. I was aware of noises in the room but kept in the moment. The sensations are so peaceful and I feel like they are very beneficial to me at this point of my life. If I could bottle up this stuff, I could sell it for a fortune. It is everything that an OOBE only hints of as far as sensations go. During these times I feel absolutely at peace and have zero desire to make it change into any other type of experience.

again with chanting

Last night I had a return of the mantra related experience. I woke up a couple of hours after going to bed, and decided to try repeating the mantra “Om Namah Shivaya” as I had in the previous entry. After a few minutes, I had a surge of energy similar to what was described before but ever so slightly stronger and smoother. This energy also seemed to pulsate with my repetition of the mantra. I started to flat a bit, but remembered that my goal was not to go out of my body but was to experience this in my body for as long as possible. I raised my right arm above me (non-physically) and noticed that at least two different times something appeared to gently squeeze my hand as if in reassurance. This first episode ended. I turned to look at the clock, and roughly 40 minutes had passed.

I returned to the mantra, and spent at least 3 more periods of going into this state with brief pauses in-between. When I finally decided I had had enough for a while, I looked at the clock again and it was more than two hours later than the last time I had checked.

I did not appear to loose consciousness during any of these periods and have no memory of actually leaving my body after that first brief levitation.

Another first time event . . . with chants

“Om Namah Shivaya is known as the great redeeming mantra also known as five-syllable mantra

The meaning :

It means "I bow to Shiva." Shiva is the supreme reality, the inner Self. It is the name given to consciousness that dwells in all. Shiva is the name of your true identity- your self. “

http://www.meditationiseasy.com/mCorner/techniques/Om_namah_shivaya.htm

I include that here because for some reason, as my non-physical event started last night, I found that instead of my usual pattern of trying to just get out of my body, I started chanting the above mantra which I had first learned of nearly 30 years ago. I am not entirely sure why I did this, but it prompted another first time type experience.

It started with the familiar “chill” tickle sensation which I have noticed prior to the state from which I normally achieve my OOB vibration. This starts as a cold-chill type sensation at the lower back of my head, and goes out over my entire body in a manner of seconds. Usually, at this point, I can fall into the vibration energy, but it is not a sure thing. It takes a tricky balance of my desire to achieve it. Tonight, for some reason, instead of trying for the vibration energy, I simply started to chant internally, “Om Namah Shivaya”. I had no sooner started this and the cold chill sensation abruptly switched to a low frequency rumble.

Now, in the past I had had low frequency vibrations that were extremely difficult to take, and have over time raised them to smooth them out so I could even deal with them. There was something basically different about this sensation. As low a frequency as this energy was, maintaining this state seemed like something I could have done for hours. Actually, I am not sure how long I was able to maintain this. At some point as I continued to chant, I realized that the energy I felt seemed tied directly to the chanting, almost like it was a musical backing to the chant. I do not mean to say it had any sort of a tune associated with it. Because of the chant, I had none of my usual feelings of wanting to go anyplace at all, so I just stayed put. Eventually, I tried to move my hand, and then floated just above my seeming physical form. Later I realized that what I was seeing was not really me as I was, but at the time I thought it must be truly my body there. I have a memory of someone else seeing me as I just floated aimlessly, but then I returned to my body and found that the link to this sensation had ended.

I lay there wondering about what had just happened, and the chill started again. I resumed the chant, and the same sensation started to envelope me. This time I just stayed with it as long as I could, again noticing that as low a frequency as the energy was, how easy it was to stay in the grasp of whatever it was. I just kept chanting, and it buzzed around me. As time passed, I realized that my vision had started to change a bit. I started to see more of a lightened blue tone to what I was looking towards. I remember no details of this. I think I was distracted a bit by the changes to my vision, and this caused an end to the sensations.

As far as OOBEs go, this is not much to speak of. But it may be interesting from a meditation standpoint.

A first of a different kind of OOBE?

I have been doing OOBE work from most of my life since it forced itself on me in my mid teens after initially occurring as a very obnoxious case of sleep paralysis at even earlier age than that, and in all of those events since then, I have never experienced what happened to me last night.

It started out with my being awake and I was tossing and turning a bit trying to get comfortable. I ended up on my right side. Within seconds, I felt that all familiar prickling sensation like a cold chill, but not really, that usually goes into vibrations if I have the correct control of it. I had no idea what to do, but I thought if I tried to open my left eye in the physical realm, it might help to keep me focused on the physical. All I can say is “Wow!” First, I had to fight to keep my eye from closing, and in doing that, the sensations faded a bit. I let them start up again, and re-opened my eye. Then something odd happened.

The eye dropped closed again, and I saw a gradual opening into another world. Right in front of me, maybe ten feet away, was a woman with short dark hair staring back at me. What seemed odd is how fast this perception opened up. Also, she was making eye contact with me. This all seemed to be in very much 3-D and full color with an incredible sense of perspective.

She was talking to me, but I could not hear her and I did not seem to be able to speak myself. A couple of other people came up from the side and slightly behind her, and they made me a bit nervous since I did not seem to be able to communicate and had no idea where I was. So I did what I might think to do in real life. I raised my arm and tried to motion to them to stay back. And I felt and saw my very physical appearing full color arm rising up in front of me very much like it would be in real life. I saw it as my arm, and it was in the place a real arm would be if it were making that motion. I say it was my arm, but it looked nothing like my arm really. It seemed to me that where ever I had landed, I must be someone else than who I am here. I turned away from them, and in that instant, the scene shifted back to a bedroom and a bed.

I was standing on the bed, and as I turned I started to walk off the edge and jumped to the floor. I felt this much as I would physically feel it if I went to do it right now except that gravity seemed a bet less in this place compared to here. I definitely felt it as I landed, but it seemed a bit too springy as I landed. I walked off down a short hallway that roughly corresponded to my own hallway in my house. I ended up in a room where there was a television that had been left on. I thought that this was rather out of character to have left the TV on when I went to bed, but it did not really look like my TV at all, and none of the stuff in my house seemed to correspond to this place. I noticed a digital clock on the top of the TV that said it was a bit past 1:00. I assume it was 1 am because the TV seemed to be showing an infomercial. And it ended just that fast. In my real world it was a bit after 3 am.

All I can say is that this, as short of a time as it took to get into and back out of, was one of the more odd things I have ever experienced. It was nothing like any OOBE I have ever had and I look forward to going there again.

Weird dream and false awakening

This was not a typical OOBE for me, or even a lucid dream of an OOB event. It did have a false awakening though, so somehow it fits the category of non-physical.

I was dreaming I was at work at my office job, but not any office I remember ever actually working. I was going to meet my new boss. Everyone else seemed to know this person already. As I was waiting, I suddenly and with no thought of my own stood on one leg, and started to spin. Even though I had not thought of doing this, it seemed normal in some way as if I had known how to do it all my life. This would be like a figure skater doing a scratch spin, but with no skates and no ice.

As I spun, I became aware of energy starting to form around me. And it was spinning with me. When I stopped, the energy went on spinning. I noticed that my boss had entered and was directing some sort of energy field towards me. Maybe, my energy was supposed to shield me from this new person? I am not sure. I put out my hands to defend myself from the beam of energy directed towards me. It was intense. I could not fight it.

I woke up.

Or did I?

I woke up and was confronted by a sudden burst of energy directed towards me from behind. It was partly a force field holding me motionless, and partly a energy beam being directed to various parts of my body at the same time. It was again, very intense. I could not stand the sound or the pressure of the energy being forced through me.

I called out to someone that this was going to kill me. I heard a response, "You will not die. I will die." The torrential stream of energy continued to blast through me.

I said, “This is going to make me crazy!!!” I heard no response. Or there actually was a response, but I could not understand it over the noise.

Then, it stopped.

I thought I was being watched. There was movement near me, and I saw someone peering into the room from above the doorway over the shinning of a small flashlight which had been directed towards me. Then a young girl of around 6-7 walked into the room from the other direction. She had reddish blonde hair cut very short. She just stood there and stared at me. Then the one with the flashlight came in. He was obviously her brother with similar features and hair, and probably 3-4 years older than she was. I have vague memory that a third child, younger than the others was also there, but just at that point I woke up for real.

Long trip to nowhere

Usually, when I have the vibration experience, I go at least one “place” somewhere- where ever that may be. It is normal in my experiences to leave and come back a number of times. One of those short trips out usually will become a longer stay that will be experienced as having been someplace, or see someone. Not so this time.

This time I was aware of at least 10, if not 15 separate starts and stops- more like a long series of waves of vibrations over an extremely long time. I was awake through it all. I was aware of myself in bed. I could hear outside noises. Wait- some of those outside noises were from a set of sprinklers going in the yard, so that can help pinpoint a time for this. I was aware of the sprinklers for at least the first 5 or so waves. The sprinklers turn off at midnight, and I finally stopped the experience and looked at a clock at 12:30 am. So that puts the time span at least to 30-45 minutes.

A “Wave” is the best way to describe this. There was always a background energy level. The intensity of vibration would build up, come to a crashing crescendo and then rapidly fall off to the background level to only build up again.

The first couple of times I tried my usual activity to leave and go someplace. But I guess I had no clear intention and I would just return again to my body. This is a normal pattern for me. Usually on the next try, I would get out and have a good trip someplace. Once I remember asking to see my guide. I put out my hands and sure enough I felt someone grab them. Off in the distance I could see someone. I heard laughter, and then I was back again. The rest of the experience, I just stayed in, so to speak. I coasted in the experience, just seeing how long it would last, listening to the outside world through the filter of the vibrations, feeling various parts of my body- seeing if I could get a bit more comfortable without killing the vibes. I was amazed at how long it continued. It would build up, and then crash and diminish only to build again.

I lost count of the number of waves that had happened. I could track back the last 5 or so in my head as this was happening, but it started to get a bit hazy when I tried to think of the total overall. Towards what I was beginning to realize would be the end, I tried a visualization experiment. I visualized what turned out to be a heavy ceramic coffee mug. I could feel it in my “hands.” It felt smooth and as heavy as a coffee mug would feel. I wondered what it would feel like to put it to my mouth, and it was just as you would expect. I imagined that there was actually coffee in it and tilted it back to take a drink. I felt the coffee in my mouth, but there was no swallowing. It just sort of was absorbed into my mouth as it came out of the mug. All the while, I could feel the vibrations, and as they started to diminish again, I felt as if it was time to stop all of this and go to sleep.

Maybe another coincidence

Or maybe not.

There is a person I knew ages ago and have only kept in touch with irregularly since then. In all cases since we have known each other, I have been the one to reestablish contact after a period of absence. I had currently not talked to this person in almost four years. Maybe that is why I chose them for the target person to contact in my OOBE of a couple of days ago. I was going to write about the OOBE right when it happened, but thinking back on it, standing alone, it was not really a remarkable event. And I am not sure I remembered enough details about it to even make it one I chose to include here. That was not until what happened two days later. This person contacted me.

It was not a remarkable OOBE as they go for me. I swung out and seemed to travel in ever increasing spirals as I went where ever I was going. I started to think of my target person, someone from the past more than a current thought in my mind. I was not really sure why I thought of them at this particular time.

After a time of traveling, I found myself flying down towards a sail boat of some sort. Off to one side I saw my target person standing. I continued down to them and made some sort of contact. Thinking back, I am not as sure I recognized them as they appeared to me then, or that I recognized the energy I had associated with them in the past. But, I knew I had the right person.

Overall, the contact was brief and I am not able to remember any one detail of it. That is one reason I was not about to write this one anywhere. What was the point?

Then I heard from them in real life not two days later. Initially, I did not think of the OOBE I had as possibly being related. But, this is the first time since we met almost 40 years ago that they have been the one to approach me after a long time of no contact. Why have they contacted me now? I am not sure. I have never discussed my “hobby” with them and I doubt they would understand. Maybe I am reading more into this than is really there. It is probably just an odd coincidence.

Virtual reality in OOBE

This was a bit odd, even for me. First, I had woken up, or at least I thought I was awake from a strange dream involving an old friend of mine. Last I remembered of it was that we were about to go someplace. Then all of a sudden, I felt the vibrations start up, and before I knew what was happening, I dropped down through the bed and floor and just kept going. 

Usually, and I think almost all of my experiences are more of the type that I fly out normally. It was odd to go in the complete opposite direction. I ended up in a place where I saw quite a few people I knew, but they were all a bit different than when I had known them. I was the only one who was floating, and they all seemed to be more in tune with the surrounding laws of physics. It seemed like this was some sort of a gaming facility or that is what I came away with. It was sort of an interacting virtual reality game. Those already there helped me get grounded and choose what I guess would be an avatar, but this was not really true. It was more that you chose a symbiot. 

The thing I was given actually merged into my “body” and I was there to help it somehow. And like a good virtual reality game, I had a package around my neck that contained energy pellets and liquid capsules of some sort. And it also had some sort of a weapon. One of the things allowed me to change my appearance. Once I was ready, I sort of blacked out and became aware of my body in bed. Then I went back to the experience and realized my companions had been carrying me. Once I was back, we went off to do whatever I was there to do. And that is about all I remember about it.

A future trip to the past?

In my last OOBE, it seemed that I went into the future. It turned out to be disappointing though. The place I went was just a dreary un-furnished apartment which I had explored for a minute as I was looking for other occupants. There were packed suitcases and boxes around as if people were either in the process of moving in or out. There were three other adults, and a teenage girl. I was standing in the kitchen with the adults, and the girl was sitting at the table to my right. 

I went over to a calendar that was posted on the refrigerator door to see what the date was, and noticed it was the year 2117. There was no real sense of it being in the future other than looking at the calendar. The refrigerator in the apartment seemed to be from the 1960s. So that part of it did not make a lot of sense. They did manufacture better quality appliances back then than they do currently, but this would be a stretch of reality to think one would be working in that far future day. One other weird part was that I was not the person I am now. The voice I spoke with was higher pitched than my normal voice. The "me" there, may have actually been a woman.

updates

So, you might wonder what has been going on recently, and I would have to say- Not much. I have had a couple of instances in the last few months where I had numerous vibration episodes in a row. Once I had various “trips” associated with trying to find and see something identifiable to a target person I had not met previously. 

 

In this series, the only reportable “hit” was that the person had short dark hair. That is not much of a hit. I also heard a few things during this series that evidently were not even close to being related to my target person. But, I am only making an assumption of that since he did not mention anything about those things, or what I reported as having been heard. 

The second cluster of trips happened a few weeks later. That may be significant for me, since in the past few years, my ability to do OOBEs has been in serious decline for some reason. During this time, the series of trips began with my hearing my spouse saying something to me which I could not really understand. While I was pondering what may have been said, I heard a toilet flush. That is not all that significant unless I also tell you that there are a couple of reasons that I could not have really heard this. The main reason is that it was not the sound that our toilet makes. 

When I realized this, I also deduced that I probably really did not hear my spouse say anything either. I therefore decided to ignore the distractions, having realized that they were not valid. I had at least five separate trips, each one with stronger vibrations- But there is nothing to tell about the experiences – nothing I can remember anyway. Maybe there is one thing. 

I was able to trace the path of my vibrations. I know it has varied over time, but currently, it seems to start in the base of my head and shoot to the top. Then it flows back over my entire body. Vibrations vary for all. Some think it is a passing phase. For me, it has always been an integral part of the experience. Most recently, I had an experience in which I worked up the vibrations until I knew they were strong enough. I put up both hands, and saw sparks of energy flowing between them. I then decided for whatever reason, to forgo trying to go anywhere, and try to spread some of this energy to my spouse instead. I started by using both hands to position the sparks of energy over her- one at her head, and one at her lower back. Before I knew it, energy was flowing directly from me to her over our entire bodies. I have no idea what was happening, and she did not report anything of significance in the night.

out of body experience with false awakening

When this experience was actually happening, it was very intense. It started with the usual vibrations, but of a slightly different feel. It has now faded, and some memories with it. When it started, I had an extreme feeling that I was paralyzed. It was not the sort of paralysis associated with SP. It felt like even my non-physical body was paralyzed. 

I remember thinking right after it all subsided that it felt as if my nervous system had been torn out of me from the inside. It seems odd to say that now, but at the time it is what I had thought of. Not that there was any pain with this, but just a lack of any sensation that I could move in any way, at least not above my waist. I tried to kick my legs out and away and eventually was able to separate. 

I drifted out and up, screaming for help. I was either paralyzed, or dead, and someone had to help me. Eventually, I felt the presence of at least three entities. One held on to my shoulders from behind, while the other two worked on my two arms from in front, or just to my side. The main entity while holding me by the shoulders was trying to calm me down, telling me that I was just fine. They all worked on me for a few minutes, and then I found myself waking up, but not really waking up it seemed. I woke up and found that I still felt I could not physically move. 

So I tried to make some sort of noise to get attention so whoever was there could help me. I remember trying to get one arm to knock the headboard of the bed. And then I woke up again, finding myself in the same position as before, still unable to move. I ran through what had been happening, and decided to try to move over onto my back. If I could do that, I could prove to myself I was really awake, and that I was not paralyzed anymore. I tried to move to my back, and found myself waking up a third time. 

What the heck is this? Every time I wake up, I think I am awake, but I end up having to wake up yet again. I ran through any number of tests and determined I must be awake. I tried to move again, and you guessed it. I woke up yet again. This time it turned out I was really awake, but even still, I laid there for quite some time before I tried to move. 

My arms felt extremely fatigued. And what if I tried to move them and could not? I eventually went over to my back, and noticed the clock. It seemed like 45 minutes or so had elapsed since I had seen the clock. I felt totally wiped out, and still was not moving my arms much. I felt very heavy. The rest of the night was uneventful, and now I am not sure what any of this means. The multiple false awakenings are interesting. I have had them before, but I do not think I have had that many layers to come back through. I remember thinking during the experience that I had to post this one because it was so different feeling than anything I have had happen before. And I was worried that if I was really paralyzed I would not be able to type it, and would have to tell someone else to post it. It is funny what you think of at certain times.