An Opportunity to say Goodbye to my deceased Wife

Monday, July 22, 2019

 

My wife J died on March 30, 2019. A few weeks later, I began to feel her presence around the house at seemingly random times.

 

Last night, I had some sort of experience with J that allowed me to tell her goodbye, something we had not been able to do. I had gotten up briefly to use the bathroom. I got back into bed, and in the time it took to get back in bed and turn towards her side of the bed, I sensed that she was there. I looked more closely, and I could see her. She seemed real. I reached out to her and then hesitated, thinking that if I tried to touch her, my hand might pass through. Or, if I were able to touch her, I would wake her up. (I was still afraid of needlessly waking her up, although her being with me seemed a good reason to wake her at the time.) I slowly lowered my hand to her, and she felt real. And of course, she woke up.

 

“Hi- Sorry to wake you. How are you doing?”

 

“I feel pretty good now, how have you been?”

 

“Well, I still have my moments, but having awareness you are still with me has helped.”

 

“I am happy about that.”

 

“And about that, I don't usually see you when I am aware of your presence. Is there something special about this time?”

 

“I just wanted to see you, is that OK?”

 

“Sure, it is. I just worry that there might be better things for you to be doing with your time than being here with me.”

 

“I guess I should get busy. I know I should, but I wanted to see you one last time.”

 

“So then, should this goodbye for now?”

 

“Yes, goodbye- for now.”

 

As I kissed her, she vanished.

 

When I looked at the clock about 15 minutes had passed since I returned to bed, fallen asleep, had the dream, and woke up again, if that is what happened.

 

Or, she may have been there to say the goodbye we had not had a chance for while she was still here.

Whatever this was, I experienced it as if she was there to say goodbye. It was real for me.