Originally from Sunday, August 9, 2015
I feel like I saw A early this morning. I have tried many times in the last couple of years, but I have not been successful. One time early on, I had tried, and the mere mention of her name was enough to shut the experience down. This time, I not only had been successful, but I had an experience that allowed me to go to her, in a house that reminded me of the house she is in now. The thing about this experience is that it felt so real at the time I thought I was actually there with her. And since I have tried for this type of experience before and failed, it is interesting to me that now for some reason, I was able to do it. What if anything was different?
In it, as I travel east, the darkness brightens to near sunny as it should have having started here at 4 am and going three time zones east. I touch down in a room where I see her. At first, she has her back to me. She turns to me. She appears just as she is in real life. I know it is A at the time. It looks just like her, it sounds like her, and every detail about her seems right. She is happy to see me. The door to the room we are in is closed. She comes to me and we embrace, suddenly falling on a couch, or maybe a bed or futon, hugging each other as we fall. We both laugh in a way that seems very real to me. We kiss. I realize just how real it feels as I pull back a bit to look at her face close up. It is her eyes and smile that get me. It is her. I can see her. There is no detail out of place. She asks me why I am looking at her so funny. I tell her I am trying to convince myself she is real. She answers, “You are trying to convince yourself I am REAL?”
I ask if I can check one more thing, and slowly reach out to pull her bangs away from her forehead. Her hair feels so soft. She reacts as I briefly touch her forehead. The wrinkle she hides with her bangs is there just as it had been when she originally showed it to me.
As good as it feels to be there with her, I think we both know that there are others in the house. Like maybe her husband and kids? Maybe I say that, or maybe she does. I ask if there is a place we can talk without the worry of waking anyone. She responds, "Yes, in the kitchen.” She gets up to open the door, and I see the house is dark. But bright enough to see that there are other people around. Maybe more family visiting? I can't tell if they are asleep or just really not able to hear or see us as we pass. I am not sure why they would be sitting in the near dark, if not sleeping. They almost look like shadows of real people, and not anywhere as real as she is to me. We start to go down the stairs. She asks how I got there, and I tell her I flew there by myself. She looks at me like I said something odd because she knows I don’t like to fly.
Going down the stairs, I see several small lit Christmas decorations along the banister as if being used for night lights. This strikes me as odd because I know in “real-time” it is early in August. Something about this exchange and seeing the decorations is a distraction to me, and the experience fades much as Richard fades from his experience in “Somewhere in Time” when he finds a penny from his current time inadvertently left in his pocket. I am there walking downstairs one moment, and I feel myself fading out of her awareness.
It was almost a perfect experience. If it had only not ended. I know parts of the setting may not have been totally real, but I felt as if I was really with her. Did I enter a dream of hers? I have had other experiences similar to that with others in the past. But maybe since I know A better than most of those people, it seemed so much more real to me with her. And I have to wonder, although I will never know, if she had a dream that I had popped into that in any way was similar to my experience. It has happened to me before.
