Thursday, July 2, 2009

out of body experience with false awakening

When this experience was actually happening, it was very intense. It started with the usual vibrations, but of a slightly different feel. It has now faded, and some memories with it. When it started, I had an extreme feeling that I was paralyzed. It was not the sort of paralysis associated with SP. It felt like even my non-physical body was paralyzed. I remember thinking right after it all subsided that it felt as if my nervous system had been torn out of me from the inside. It seems odd to say that now, but at the time it is what I had thought of. Not that there was any pain with this, but just a lack of any sensation that I could move in any way, at least not above my waist.

I tried to kick my legs out and away and eventually was able to separate. I drifted out and up, screaming for help. I was either paralyzed, or dead, and someone had to help me. Eventually, I felt the presence of at least three entities. One held on to my shoulders from behind, while the other two worked on my two arms from in front, or just to my side. The main entity while holding me by the shoulders was trying to calm me down, telling me that I was just fine. They all worked on me for a few minutes, and then I found myself waking up, but not really waking up it seemed. I woke up and found that I still felt I could not physically move. So I tried to make some sort of noise to get attention so whoever was there could help me. I remember trying to get one arm to knock the headboard of the bed. And then I woke up again, finding myself in the same position as before, still unable to move.

I ran through what had been happening, and decided to try to move over onto my back. If I could do that, I could prove to myself I was really awake, and that I was not paralyzed anymore. I tried to move to my back, and found myself waking up a third time. What the heck is this? Every time I wake up, I think I am awake, but I end up having to wake up yet again. I ran through any number of tests and determined I must be awake. I tried to move again, and you guessed it. I woke up yet again. This time it turned out I was really awake, but even still, I laid there for quite some time before I tried to move. My arms felt extremely fatigued. And what if I tried to move them and could not?

I eventually went over to my back, and noticed the clock. It seemed like 45 minutes or so had elapsed since I had seen the clock. I felt totally wiped out, and still was not moving my arms much. I felt very heavy. The rest of the night was uneventful, and now I am not sure what any of this means. The multiple false awakenings are interesting. I have had them before, but I do not think I have had that many layers to come back through. I remember thinking during the experience that I had to post this one because it was so different feeling than anything I have had happen before. And I was worried that if I was really paralyzed I would not be able to type it, and would have to tell someone else to post it. It is funny what you think of at certain times.